Days 3, 4 and 5. No Dairy or Carbs (processed carbs)

In case you haven't guessed already, Days 3, 4 and 5 haven't been awesome. 

First a little cheat.  Then a bit larger and I just now ate a slice of pizza. Stuffed crust no doubt. 

I want to blame JMan, because he left it on the table in front of me. That would be SO MUCH EASIER. But I can't. This is totally on me being unable to say no.

On top of it, weigh-in's have me gaining a pound and a half over the past 5 days.

I don't understand. I just don't get it.  I'm pretty disappointed in myself.

My next visit will be to the wonderstore of stores - Amazon.  I am going to look for some books on meal planning for families. It has to be that I'm eating too much, or the wrong things - something! How can I avoid carbs (mostly), drink lots and lots of water, and avoid dairy altogether and GAIN weight???

So depressing.

So I won't continue to depress you - I'll be back with an update tomorrow.  

Sad Fat Panda out...

Day 1 - No dairy or carbs OMG

Well, I made a decision that today I would start no carbs and no dairy. Basically, I'm not going to not eat something if it has dairy or carbs in it, say creamer for my coffee or a little bit of breading on that last half a bite of the chicken nugget that my child in need.

However I will not be making myself a bagel, I will not be eating ice cream, I will be avoiding cereal (waaaaaaaaa) I will not be eating all of the things that bring me much much happiness.

I'm doing this because I'm tired of being heavy, and everything I read says that carbs in Derry tend to keep weight on me. So this is going to be my 14 day trial. I'll update daily, sometimes more if I'm having a really rough day and we'll go from there.

So, for day one, I've already failed. I had two chicken nuggets both of which were breaded, I had milk in my coffee,and I had three pretzel sticks, 4 goldfish and a tiny, teeny weenie bite of a bagel.

I'm starving. Water is just not filling me up and I can't seem to WAKE up. Sluggish, slow, lethargic and HUNGRY.

I will get one day in at a time.

Today's weight: 168


Holy mackerel Batman this is going to be difficult.

Day One of - well the millionth Day One

It's not REALLY a day one. It's just today. But like many, I will soon be faced with a barrage of "...so what are your resolutions" questions.  To be clear:

I have NO resolutions.

• I will NOT resolve to lose X lbs. by X date.
• I will NOT resolve to have [crazywonderful] job by this time next year.
• I will NOT resolve to make better choices
• I will NOT resolve to go the gym 3 times a week.
• I will NOT resolve to be more patient with my relatives.
• I will NOT resolve to be more organized.

Why? Because there has been countless broken resolutions over the decades. If they were tangible, by January 15 there would be more garbage strewn about than on the ground in New York in Times Square on January 2.  No landfill would be able to accommodate the amount of forgotten good intentions, slyly dumped resolutions, and broken promises set out to the curb after life gets back in the way again.

So no, I will NOT be resolving to do anything for the rest of the year.

What I will do is each day get up and do my best. Each day will be Day One.  Each day will be a new day to try and get it right. Maybe put a new practice into motion. Maybe Day One of exercise. Maybe Day One of eating healthier. OR, maybe Day One of being good to myself and not stressing out about society's images.

I will wake each day and live my life, this I know will happen.  I know I'll keep striving to be a better person, this is what I do and have done always so I know this will continue.  I really believe that's all we can do.

But I won't be making any promises that I can't know if I'll be able to keep, least of all to myself.  I don't know if I can exercise every day. If I can't make a day I and I've "resolved" to, I'll feel guilty and like a failure.  I just will do my best.

Good or bad, promising or not - I will do each day like a Day One.

Maybe I'll make it to Day Two eventually, but I'm not making any promises.

Happy New Year!