Breastfeeding "Open Air"

To all of you who get offended when you see a mom breastfeeding in public without a cover, I have a question:

Why is it my responsibility to manage YOUR feelings?  If you see my breast while I'm feeding my child and get uncomfortable why is that my fault? I am doing something that is intended for a breast to do, and if you feel sexual about it that is YOUR feeling and Your responsibility.  

WHY DOES IT COME DOWN TO HOW I BEHAVE THAT DETERMINES YOUR ACTIONS?

If I were strangling puppies, punching cats, having sex in public, peeing/defecating on the street, or masturbating in public then I would expect outrage because all are illegal, some are terrible and cruel, and three can spread diseases like E. coli, and STDs like HIV.

Breastfeeding is not illegal. 

It is not cruel and terrible. 

It is not sexual. 

It does not spread an STD or any other disease. 

I am not spraying it on anything. I am not pouring it out down an alley. I am not killing anything. I am not having sex with my child, masturbating with my child, or urinating or defecating with my child.

I am doing the opposite. I am nourishing, bonding, and loving my child. I am giving my child his food.

Whether a mom chooses to cover or not, bottle feed or not, is none of your concern. If you don't want your children seeing me, and if your partner/husband/wife lacks enough self control that seeing breasts turns them into a rape machine - then I suggest you NOT point me out to your delicate children and philandering partner because - and hear me on this one - 

I am not responsible for yours, your partners, or your children's actions or feelings.

So I will continue to breastfeed, whenever, however, and wherever I'm legally allowed to be.

And to all you formula moms, covering moms, & pump n feed moms - you kick ass too! Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing what you feel is best for your family.

Day two: torture upon torture

Well day two started off well, I had eggs for breakfast and coffee, and studiously avoided even looking at the bread selections in my pantry. Although I felt them looking at me forlornly as if I somehow, neglected them. By the time I got into my living room I felt very guilty and very hungry. Still, I persisted, and I did not eat the bread. Though I think it does think that I've neglected it now. Instead of me It has availed itself upon my husband who ate it hungrily.

And that's what I've taken to doing, making carbs seem like it is some living thing that has feeling that makes me feel guilty for not eating it! Oh what has my life come to?

In all reality, it was really really difficult yesterday not to eat carbs. I was hungry pretty much all day. For lunch, I had a really really good chicken breast with mango salsa, some edamame and a really nice glass of tea.

Dinner was harder though, we went out to eat and I forgot that I wasn't having carbs and ate chips. Ah well. I only had four before my daughter called me out on it. The steak was fabulous, and veggies were excellent, though the asparagus was a little undercooked a little too tough for my taste. When I got home I really want to eat something sweet as everybody else at the table had some kind of dessert, so I opted for some cantaloupe which wasn't as sweet as it could've been but not too bad.

So that was my day yesterday: Not terrible, but not awesome either. I did manage to do some yardwork yesterday to keep my mind off eating, and I think I decimated half a bag of carrots just to get my munchies fix in. Today I am starting off the day much better but that's tomorrow's post hopefully you'll be able to use some of my recipes in your no carb/low carb/no dairy diet.

 I will weigh myself every other day so no weight for today.

See you guys tomorrow! Just 12 more days to go!

Day 1 - No dairy or carbs OMG

Well, I made a decision that today I would start no carbs and no dairy. Basically, I'm not going to not eat something if it has dairy or carbs in it, say creamer for my coffee or a little bit of breading on that last half a bite of the chicken nugget that my child in need.

However I will not be making myself a bagel, I will not be eating ice cream, I will be avoiding cereal (waaaaaaaaa) I will not be eating all of the things that bring me much much happiness.

I'm doing this because I'm tired of being heavy, and everything I read says that carbs in Derry tend to keep weight on me. So this is going to be my 14 day trial. I'll update daily, sometimes more if I'm having a really rough day and we'll go from there.

So, for day one, I've already failed. I had two chicken nuggets both of which were breaded, I had milk in my coffee,and I had three pretzel sticks, 4 goldfish and a tiny, teeny weenie bite of a bagel.

I'm starving. Water is just not filling me up and I can't seem to WAKE up. Sluggish, slow, lethargic and HUNGRY.

I will get one day in at a time.

Today's weight: 168


Holy mackerel Batman this is going to be difficult.

Oh...You Again (again, repost from WorkingMomFu)

Had a "date night" in tonight, and it was pretty cool. I made dinner, Okoi (yum yum) and we watched "You Again" starring Kristen Bell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver and Betty White!  There were other cast members, notably Odette Yustman who plays Kristen Bell's characters arch-nemesis.  She did a great job at playing the role of that evil, vile, mean - yet gorgeous, popular and beautiful girl we all knew in high school.  Not to ruin the movie - but she did redeem herself at the end of the flick.  In the movie, Kristen Bell's character's name is Marnie.  Marnie's brother is marrying this arch nemesis Joanna or "JJ" as she was called in school. JJ's Aunt Ramona, played by Sigourney Weaver, is Marnie's mothers' ex friend. Marnie's mom is played by Jamie Lee Curtis. Betty White is the grandma.  Of course, she steals the show.

The movie plays out with the with the four women working through their pasts and has the requisite amount of problems, issues and hilarity.  Even though it is decidedly a chick flick. The men in the movie do a good job of being props - the movie is TRULY about women and the situations we find ourselves in - but of course way more extreme than real life.

Over the past few years, thanks largely to MySpace, FaceBook and Classmates.com people from all over have found themselves (sometimes unwillingly) reconnected with people from high school.  I don't know about you, but that time for me was about 80% bad, 10% good, and 10% forgotten. In my opinion, I was more like a Marnie but I WAS on the JV cheerleading team. My situation wasn't extreme but I did have my share of bullies, girl and boy.

It's odd, but I have found one similarity, those that tortured you RARELY remember doing so. Mostly anyway.  I guess obviously it's because they were not nearly as affected by it, branded by it if you will, as you were.  I mean, it probably didn't hurt, embarrass or scar them - but it did you.  And probably left a huge memory burned into your brain.

Now granted, most of us lived somewhere happily in the middle, not too picked on and not too exalted.  Most of us floated in that teen haze of self absorption and shallowness, bad music and poor choices, awful hairstyles and even worse clothing options. I was an 80's child. I was an ASIAN 80's child. I was an ASIAN living in the South 80's child.  Have you ever seen pink and teal makeup on an Asian? Think Mimi from Drew Carey but with slanty eyes. Oh, and younger and way thinner.  And tan. OK so nothing like Mimi from that show but you get where I was going!  Yea, I tried so hard to fit in.  I wasn't just awkward and in high school, I was DIFFERENT and awkward and in High School.

For me it wasn't necessarily a death sentence. I had friends (HEY MARINA!!!), frienemies, and those people I both loathed and envied all at the same time.  It started before high school really. In middle school, one girl ripped open my Michael Jackson styled snap up shirt I suppose hoping to embarrass me. HA! I had a tshirt on! Still embarrassed me though.  Same girl liked to pick on me and snicker and giggle and exclude me.  A couple years later, she said I looked like I was having seizures as I tried out for cheerleading in 8th grade.

She was best friends with a girl I wanted to hate soooo much. That girl was perfect. She was Miss All-American, gorgeous, great grades, smiled at everyone, the teachers loved her.  Her mother was also all of that just in grown up form.  They went everywhere together, that mean girl and Ms. All American.   Straight through high school. They were loved by all.  Over time, I did manage to hang out with the Mean Girl once or twice, though I found out that Mean Girl was only doing it to get to the boy I liked at the time.  Ah....lessons.

Ms. All-American never did anything to me to make me hate her. I was just so jealous of her. I hated on her long before that phrase became a catch phrase.  She had everything I ever wanted (or so I thought).  To my knowlege, she never said a bad word to or about me. While her best friend at the time was, however, quite mean to me, she herself never EVER said anything or did anything mean to me.

Seems somehow I turned into the mean one around Ms. All American.  It's funny though - I did reunite with my ex Mean Girl - and she didn't seem to remember all those times she put me down in front of others, tried to humiliate me or some other form of emotional terror.  Not one thing.  She was friendly, funny, and dang it all, I liked her.

*sigh* I'm not those characters in the movie. I'm neither clever enough nor do I have a script writer to make sure everything works out in the end.  I didn't bring any of it up. I didn't remind her or ask for her apology.  I did take a look around using what I've learned in my 37 years of life to realize that well, it doesn't really matter. Sure, back then I thought she made me hate everything that was about me.  But since then, I've realized that I do like me.  Had it not been for me getting knocked down - I couldn't have ever stood up for myself.  Something I've learned to do. Do I thank HER for it? No - not really. She was just a small part of that, my first stepping stone.

But tonight, sitting with the love of my life on a couch with my two adorable pooches in my warm house under my beautiful and smart and healthy daughters blanket, fiddling with my snuggly little smart healthy son's toy car I realized that no matter what happened to me back then, or what happens to me in the future, THIS is good. THIS is happiness. THIS is enough - and life is good.  I also realized that while I may not be the VP of a PR office in New York (Marnie) or tall, thin, beautiful and popular (Joanna), or the owner of the most successful hotels in the world (Aunt Ramona) I am a lot like Marnie's mom.  I have a lot to be thankful for.

I also have an apology to the one I called Ms. All American. I don't know where she is these days - but to Crystal Williams from Leland, NC - I want to apologize for ever being mean to you. If I did or said anything that hurt your feelings EVER, I do truly apologize. I never meant to be the Mean Girl.  Hopefully, if we ever run into each other you won't say, "You Again".

Drawing a dotted wavy line from A - B

Today's post was supposed to be a 2-Minute Review of my travel system, but a news article discussing CougarLife.com's latest billboard debacle caught my eye.  As a mature woman of almost a "certain age" AND a breastfeeding mother, I feel the need to address this.

I firmly believe that there is no shame in an older woman dating a younger man.  I   see how society views men with younger women as acceptable but not women with younger men.

I accept that this is unfair and hypocritical and I think this website is kind of funny and entertaining.  

As a SAHM mother with three great kids AND an alternative model, I challenge anyone to find someone who would ever call me a prude, an over-reactor, or in any way easily offended. There are not many things in the advertising industry that truly offends me.  I worked in the industry for a short period of time (in a non marketing position) and I do not consider myself an expert of any sort.  However, I am a consumer and have been marketing to my entire life.  On this, I feel I am qualified to speak.

The issue I have at the moment isn't so much the sign - it's being taken down.  My chief complaint is the response to the public's outcry by the company spokesperson, Marlo Jordan.  This is Ms. Jordan (from the CougarLife website):

Miss CougarLife.com, Marlo Jordan

Marlo Jordan is the ultimate cougar... so say the millions of members at CougarLife.com! She is a successful business owner, a nationally ranked fitness competitor, a featured model, a professional dating coach, and a mom of three! Beating out thousands of hopeful cougars, Marlo has become our first "Miss CougarLife.com".

Being a cougar is second nature to Marlo... everywhere she goes, she attracts younger men. She maintains her busy cougar lifestyle by balancing her career as a professional dating coach, leading a healthy lifestyle, managing her family time, and enjoying her "me" time which includes dating lots of energetic young men. Everywhere she goes she turns heads, but aside from her sexy, youthful look, people everywhere fall in love with her for her intriguing, passionate and loveable personality. She epitomizes the cougar life.

Marlo enjoys traveling, fashion, working out, competing in fitness, and more than anything else, helping people reach their best. This last quality has in turn made her the perfect dating coach, guiding confident people to finding love. She is a 42-year-old single mother whose favorite pastime is dating eligible cubs all over America.

There's no denying that she's one hot mama.  She seems smart, sexy and confident - all things that are awesome.  So why then, does she fall flat on her face trying to convince OTHER smart, sexy and confident women that were offended by the (second) inappropriate billboard that they shouldn't be?  She is doing the *blink blink* whaaaa???? wide eyed thing mock innocence thing. Except she seems to expect us to buy it.  

My turn. Um, what?

She is, by her own admission, a divorced single mom who breastfed her own children.  When she tries to say, "A mother breastfeeding can still be sexy" it's justification for their bad decision.  I've taken photos of myself breastfeeding and it makes people uncomfortable, but I never tried to make it something other than what it was.  I shrugged it off and said, "yea well don't look at it."  I didn't tell people, "Oh, you should totally be into me with my infant on my breast, giggidy".  

She goes on to try and link, again, breastfeeding and relationships in this quote from the article "I know there are going to be some moms that look at it and think, 'What in the world?'" said Jordan. "But we don't think there's anything shameful about either breastfeeding or relationships between older women and younger men."  

Her biggest insult is where she further insults anyone's intelligence and basically calls us all idiots when she says there's no reason for the billboard to be taken down. Because it's next to a Farmers Market - it's the "...perfect place to showcase this ad," and follows up with, "There is nothing more natural than a woman breastfeeding."

Really?  Just what exactly are those farmers farming?  Uteruses?  Breasts?  Why is it the perfect place?  Do all farmers breastfeed AND date "cubs"? Or are you just drawing a line between your points A and B to make them seem related?  Let me try.

I enjoy music and because of that I should get my car washed. 

Follow the logic?  No?  Well, that's because there isn't any. Just like there is no correlation between breastfeeding and sex.  

I realize she is being paid to be the mouthpiece of the company, but shouldn't such an accomplished woman be able to come up with something better than this?  Or, possibly, it was such a bad decision that this WAS the best she could come up with. 

If you would like to contact the company and let them know what you think here is the contact information:

http://cougarlife.com/contact_us

Attn: Media Relations 
Cougar Life Inc. 

(DBA Cougar Life) 
20 Eglinton Ave West, Suite 1200
Toronto, ON Canada M4R 1K8 
1-877-740-3176

No Sexual Feet!

Feet.
足
chân
pé
Aleut
pairo
piedi
pies.

All words for Feet. Imagine all that creamy soft supple skin, kept moisturized. Imagine how soft they would feel in your hands. Imagine how they would feel brushed up against your cheek as you rested there. How can you adorn the feet you love? Would you go to boutiques and buy the sexiest dainty sandals?  And how they would look all tanned up at the beach?  You could play with each little toe at the end of a long day in the bath, massaging and licking each one to your partners delight.  Throw on some soft music, light some candles and spend time caressing the feet.  You buy wonderful soft socks to keep them covered (only for you ya know!), provide good shoes for arch support, and (like above) buy adorable or sexy sandals! In your mind, your special foot "owner" shouldn't ever actually USE their feet to walk, because that would make them dry out, less soft, and not as supple as you would like and the "sexiness" might wane.  

How can anyone say no to feet? They are incredibly sexy, and you know you can't keep your eyes off of them!

No? Feet aren't sexy?  Well I'm sure SOME folks think feet are sexy but lets assume for a moment YOU don't.  How ridiculous would it be for someone to expect someone else to not use their FEET to walk around, simply because feet are considered sexual organs?

That's exactly how ridiculous it sounds to us breastfeeding moms when somoene who has sexualized all that is breast and we are asked to cover up or go elsewhere.  BREASTS ARE MEANT TO FEED INFANTS.  They were NOT incuded on our bodies to be "sexual".  If so, we'd just have nipples like men, no need for mammary glands.

(c) Duker Photography
Model: Me & Nila

Honestly, our culture could have sexualized any part of the body, making it shameful to expose that part in public. Breastfeeding is 100% normal and natural and mothers who breastfeed should never be asked to go elsewhere or cover up.  WHY is this still happening?  If you, or anyone else, feels uncomfortable when a woman is breastfeeding then here's an idea, don't look. Don't follow her with your eyes. Don't wonder if she's one of "those" women who will breastfeed until the child is 5.  It's none of YOUR business. Don't stare, that's rude dude.

Personally, I think seeing a mother feeding her child is a remarkable expression of love and selflessness. If you have never breastfed, newsflash: it's not easy. It's not impossible or difficult necessarily, but it can impose restrictions and you have to think about what you eat, drink, and expose yourself to.  You are solely responsible for the ENTIRE food of another human being. You are their lifeblood, so, to be responsible, you eat healthy, drink lots of water, and limit other things such as wine, beer, and that cigarette you REALLY want. Not too much coffee, not too much of anything really (except water. You need lots of that).

So for people who say that breastfeeding is unnatural or should be covered up ask yourself these questions:

1)  If you just don't want to see the woman's nipple, then why is ok for the Abercrombie male models to show THEIR nipples? The only difference is the fat part, so the argument that nipple showage is porn or something sexual doesn't work.

2) Do you stop eating when someone with anorexia or bulemia enters the room? No. Of course not.  So why should *I* (or any breastfeeding mother) have to stop feeding our children because YOU have sexualized a mammary gland and now have issues with doing what's natural?

3) Do you want to eat a steak under a towel? Try it one day. Put two people (you have to be one of them) under a blanket. Then YOU eat a steak.

So here's the deal. We're feeding our children with the tools nature gave us. It's natural, a gesture of love, and completely legal anywhere that mother has a right to be.

And just one more thing:

Just be glad society hasn't yet made feet the sexual equivalent of breasts.