Day One of - well the millionth Day One

It's not REALLY a day one. It's just today. But like many, I will soon be faced with a barrage of "...so what are your resolutions" questions.  To be clear:

I have NO resolutions.

• I will NOT resolve to lose X lbs. by X date.
• I will NOT resolve to have [crazywonderful] job by this time next year.
• I will NOT resolve to make better choices
• I will NOT resolve to go the gym 3 times a week.
• I will NOT resolve to be more patient with my relatives.
• I will NOT resolve to be more organized.

Why? Because there has been countless broken resolutions over the decades. If they were tangible, by January 15 there would be more garbage strewn about than on the ground in New York in Times Square on January 2.  No landfill would be able to accommodate the amount of forgotten good intentions, slyly dumped resolutions, and broken promises set out to the curb after life gets back in the way again.

So no, I will NOT be resolving to do anything for the rest of the year.

What I will do is each day get up and do my best. Each day will be Day One.  Each day will be a new day to try and get it right. Maybe put a new practice into motion. Maybe Day One of exercise. Maybe Day One of eating healthier. OR, maybe Day One of being good to myself and not stressing out about society's images.

I will wake each day and live my life, this I know will happen.  I know I'll keep striving to be a better person, this is what I do and have done always so I know this will continue.  I really believe that's all we can do.

But I won't be making any promises that I can't know if I'll be able to keep, least of all to myself.  I don't know if I can exercise every day. If I can't make a day I and I've "resolved" to, I'll feel guilty and like a failure.  I just will do my best.

Good or bad, promising or not - I will do each day like a Day One.

Maybe I'll make it to Day Two eventually, but I'm not making any promises.

Happy New Year!  

Mom Stuff on the Couch - Parenting styles and pretty girls.

Do you think telling your daughter she's pretty all the time is bad? Or not a big deal?  Do you have a parenting style? Do you consider yourself a natural parent? A gentle parent? Or just a parent?  Drop a comment after the vlog and let me know!

Oh...You Again (again, repost from WorkingMomFu)

Had a "date night" in tonight, and it was pretty cool. I made dinner, Okoi (yum yum) and we watched "You Again" starring Kristen Bell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver and Betty White!  There were other cast members, notably Odette Yustman who plays Kristen Bell's characters arch-nemesis.  She did a great job at playing the role of that evil, vile, mean - yet gorgeous, popular and beautiful girl we all knew in high school.  Not to ruin the movie - but she did redeem herself at the end of the flick.  In the movie, Kristen Bell's character's name is Marnie.  Marnie's brother is marrying this arch nemesis Joanna or "JJ" as she was called in school. JJ's Aunt Ramona, played by Sigourney Weaver, is Marnie's mothers' ex friend. Marnie's mom is played by Jamie Lee Curtis. Betty White is the grandma.  Of course, she steals the show.

The movie plays out with the with the four women working through their pasts and has the requisite amount of problems, issues and hilarity.  Even though it is decidedly a chick flick. The men in the movie do a good job of being props - the movie is TRULY about women and the situations we find ourselves in - but of course way more extreme than real life.

Over the past few years, thanks largely to MySpace, FaceBook and Classmates.com people from all over have found themselves (sometimes unwillingly) reconnected with people from high school.  I don't know about you, but that time for me was about 80% bad, 10% good, and 10% forgotten. In my opinion, I was more like a Marnie but I WAS on the JV cheerleading team. My situation wasn't extreme but I did have my share of bullies, girl and boy.

It's odd, but I have found one similarity, those that tortured you RARELY remember doing so. Mostly anyway.  I guess obviously it's because they were not nearly as affected by it, branded by it if you will, as you were.  I mean, it probably didn't hurt, embarrass or scar them - but it did you.  And probably left a huge memory burned into your brain.

Now granted, most of us lived somewhere happily in the middle, not too picked on and not too exalted.  Most of us floated in that teen haze of self absorption and shallowness, bad music and poor choices, awful hairstyles and even worse clothing options. I was an 80's child. I was an ASIAN 80's child. I was an ASIAN living in the South 80's child.  Have you ever seen pink and teal makeup on an Asian? Think Mimi from Drew Carey but with slanty eyes. Oh, and younger and way thinner.  And tan. OK so nothing like Mimi from that show but you get where I was going!  Yea, I tried so hard to fit in.  I wasn't just awkward and in high school, I was DIFFERENT and awkward and in High School.

For me it wasn't necessarily a death sentence. I had friends (HEY MARINA!!!), frienemies, and those people I both loathed and envied all at the same time.  It started before high school really. In middle school, one girl ripped open my Michael Jackson styled snap up shirt I suppose hoping to embarrass me. HA! I had a tshirt on! Still embarrassed me though.  Same girl liked to pick on me and snicker and giggle and exclude me.  A couple years later, she said I looked like I was having seizures as I tried out for cheerleading in 8th grade.

She was best friends with a girl I wanted to hate soooo much. That girl was perfect. She was Miss All-American, gorgeous, great grades, smiled at everyone, the teachers loved her.  Her mother was also all of that just in grown up form.  They went everywhere together, that mean girl and Ms. All American.   Straight through high school. They were loved by all.  Over time, I did manage to hang out with the Mean Girl once or twice, though I found out that Mean Girl was only doing it to get to the boy I liked at the time.  Ah....lessons.

Ms. All-American never did anything to me to make me hate her. I was just so jealous of her. I hated on her long before that phrase became a catch phrase.  She had everything I ever wanted (or so I thought).  To my knowlege, she never said a bad word to or about me. While her best friend at the time was, however, quite mean to me, she herself never EVER said anything or did anything mean to me.

Seems somehow I turned into the mean one around Ms. All American.  It's funny though - I did reunite with my ex Mean Girl - and she didn't seem to remember all those times she put me down in front of others, tried to humiliate me or some other form of emotional terror.  Not one thing.  She was friendly, funny, and dang it all, I liked her.

*sigh* I'm not those characters in the movie. I'm neither clever enough nor do I have a script writer to make sure everything works out in the end.  I didn't bring any of it up. I didn't remind her or ask for her apology.  I did take a look around using what I've learned in my 37 years of life to realize that well, it doesn't really matter. Sure, back then I thought she made me hate everything that was about me.  But since then, I've realized that I do like me.  Had it not been for me getting knocked down - I couldn't have ever stood up for myself.  Something I've learned to do. Do I thank HER for it? No - not really. She was just a small part of that, my first stepping stone.

But tonight, sitting with the love of my life on a couch with my two adorable pooches in my warm house under my beautiful and smart and healthy daughters blanket, fiddling with my snuggly little smart healthy son's toy car I realized that no matter what happened to me back then, or what happens to me in the future, THIS is good. THIS is happiness. THIS is enough - and life is good.  I also realized that while I may not be the VP of a PR office in New York (Marnie) or tall, thin, beautiful and popular (Joanna), or the owner of the most successful hotels in the world (Aunt Ramona) I am a lot like Marnie's mom.  I have a lot to be thankful for.

I also have an apology to the one I called Ms. All American. I don't know where she is these days - but to Crystal Williams from Leland, NC - I want to apologize for ever being mean to you. If I did or said anything that hurt your feelings EVER, I do truly apologize. I never meant to be the Mean Girl.  Hopefully, if we ever run into each other you won't say, "You Again".

4moms Mamaroo Review - In Depth

When I first saw the Mamaroo by 4moms I was stuck by it's simplicity.  (And because it looked like some hybrid Jetsons/Mork from Ork baby gear.)

Someone forwarded me a link to the website for this item, http://www.4moms.com/mamaroo, and I decided, "I want".

LOL - and what pregnant mama wants, pregnant mama begs for.

I did get it as a gift and currently (though not when it was bought for me) it retails for about $230.

So here comes the review. This is more indepth than what the video has. That is only two minutes and goes only over the pros & cons.  Here we will break them down more.

First I'll give the details or "specs". Then I'll discuss how they work IRL compared to what is advertised.  

Finally - I'll say whether I think it's a good purchase, a nursery must have, value, pros/cons etc. 

The Details

• Six patterns to choose from (shown is "green plush")
• Smooth reclining seat, locks to adjust (left picture, back bar is the adjustment)
• Built in nature sounds, with volume OR you can connect an ipod/iphone
• Reversible toy balls
• 5 Unique motions with variable speeds for each
• Up to 25 lbs

...And In Reality...

This item came unassembled but was a snap to assemble, truly.  Took a very round pregnant lady very little time.  It's a heavy item, which is good, you don't want to be knocking stuff over while lumbering around on invisible feet.  After the baby is born, you don't want something flimsy holding your kid. It's a solid item, and I felt safe putting my newborn into it.

However, the first test subject wasn't too happy.  We try out all our stuff on our 12 lb Shih Tzu. The Mamaroo is NOT intended for pets.   And Shih Tzus may get extra cranky. Just a warning.

Ok - so on to the Details and how they work.

• Six Patterns - not much to say about this. Pick your pattern and go with it.  We picked green, simply because I liked the green.
• Smooth Reclining Seat - This is actually pretty cool.  The bar that runs along the back of the Mamaroo is the bar that slides through the locking mechanism.  You can slide it to the lowest position for a more "laying flat" baby or up to have them sitting up straighter.  Note however, there are no shoulder straps.  This means if you have your seat in the most upright position, if your baby has great abs like mine, they could theoretically fling themselves out. So stay nearby if you put the seat this inclined.
• Built in Nature Sounds or music player - I use the nature sounds, which are called "white noises" every where else, frequently.  I have to, because I lost the little cord that goes from the Mamaroo to the iPod/iPhone. It detaches from the unit and is only about 3 inches long.  I never got to try out my stunning collection of Eminem or P!nk.  Dangit!  
• Reversible Toy Balls - Well yes. They are there. Three soft plush football shaped toy balls.  On one side of the balls are black and white images. On the other side of them are the same images in bright primary colors. And they dangle.  Just - dangle. All I could think of when I saw it was:  Angler Fish of DEATH!  Seriously - they just....hang. It's kind of odd. And the tags are 2 inches long. ON EACH BALL.  Very strange.

• 5 Unique motions with variable speeds for each- Here's where it gets good. This detail is the reason I wanted the Mamaroo.  Unlike regular swings which can typically go either side to side or front to back in a swinging motion - the mamaroo has two moving parts. First, the post that the seat is perched on slides side to side on the base. Then, depending on which of the "...five unique motions" you choose, the seat section bounces up and down to create a different movement.  Additionally, after you choose your motion, you can increase or decrease the speed of the motion.

• Up to 25 lbs. Well - no need to review this.  You can put a child, up to 25 lbs, into it provided he or she is not sitting on their own, crawling, etc.  This item is for babies that don't yet move too much. 

The Pros: It's versatile. It really can be tilted to just about any position to sit/lie in.  The style of it is good and its pleasing to look at. It's not an overly loud mechanical item either.  With the player attachment and decent speakers it's pretty nifty.  The movements and options mean they sleep well, and if they get tired of one movement, you have 4 others and various speeds to choose from.   The material literally zips off for easy cleaning should your little one have a blow out or upchuck.  (If you don't have kids yet and don't know what a blow out is, I'll let it be your pleasant surprise)

The Cons:  The cost is a big one.  While it's cool looking, no doubt, the price is prohibitive for parents who are, like most of us, on a strict budget. Shelling out $230 for an item Lil' Suzie will only use for six months seems a bit much, but I have one so clearly not all that prohibitive.  One thing I didn't like was the rounded seat, it often had her chin on her chest as she slept - which is a big no-no. If the back where straighter that would be better.  The player cord detaches from the base.  It's tiny and was lost pretty much in the first month.  There are no shoulder straps to keep babies like mine, who like to lean and move a lot, more secure.  I would love to see some plush straps. 

All in all - I like the 4Moms Mamaroo. For the first three weeks, my daughter wouldn't sleep anywhere else.  She needed the motion and the swing we were given just wasn't doing it.  Now at 12 weeks she is in it sometimes, but not as much for sleeping through the night as the occasional nap in it.

If you can afford it - I'd say it's a good purchase. Definitely not a necessity item, but one you'll appreciate.  It's also a conversation starter, and if all else fails...just keep shopping, just keep shopping....

*This is an UNPAID product review.  I was not asked to do it nor was I compensated or paid in any way. The item was bought by a family member and given to me at my baby shower. I have no affiliation with 4moms.

No Sexual Feet!

Feet.
足
chân
pé
Aleut
pairo
piedi
pies.

All words for Feet. Imagine all that creamy soft supple skin, kept moisturized. Imagine how soft they would feel in your hands. Imagine how they would feel brushed up against your cheek as you rested there. How can you adorn the feet you love? Would you go to boutiques and buy the sexiest dainty sandals?  And how they would look all tanned up at the beach?  You could play with each little toe at the end of a long day in the bath, massaging and licking each one to your partners delight.  Throw on some soft music, light some candles and spend time caressing the feet.  You buy wonderful soft socks to keep them covered (only for you ya know!), provide good shoes for arch support, and (like above) buy adorable or sexy sandals! In your mind, your special foot "owner" shouldn't ever actually USE their feet to walk, because that would make them dry out, less soft, and not as supple as you would like and the "sexiness" might wane.  

How can anyone say no to feet? They are incredibly sexy, and you know you can't keep your eyes off of them!

No? Feet aren't sexy?  Well I'm sure SOME folks think feet are sexy but lets assume for a moment YOU don't.  How ridiculous would it be for someone to expect someone else to not use their FEET to walk around, simply because feet are considered sexual organs?

That's exactly how ridiculous it sounds to us breastfeeding moms when somoene who has sexualized all that is breast and we are asked to cover up or go elsewhere.  BREASTS ARE MEANT TO FEED INFANTS.  They were NOT incuded on our bodies to be "sexual".  If so, we'd just have nipples like men, no need for mammary glands.

(c) Duker Photography
Model: Me & Nila

Honestly, our culture could have sexualized any part of the body, making it shameful to expose that part in public. Breastfeeding is 100% normal and natural and mothers who breastfeed should never be asked to go elsewhere or cover up.  WHY is this still happening?  If you, or anyone else, feels uncomfortable when a woman is breastfeeding then here's an idea, don't look. Don't follow her with your eyes. Don't wonder if she's one of "those" women who will breastfeed until the child is 5.  It's none of YOUR business. Don't stare, that's rude dude.

Personally, I think seeing a mother feeding her child is a remarkable expression of love and selflessness. If you have never breastfed, newsflash: it's not easy. It's not impossible or difficult necessarily, but it can impose restrictions and you have to think about what you eat, drink, and expose yourself to.  You are solely responsible for the ENTIRE food of another human being. You are their lifeblood, so, to be responsible, you eat healthy, drink lots of water, and limit other things such as wine, beer, and that cigarette you REALLY want. Not too much coffee, not too much of anything really (except water. You need lots of that).

So for people who say that breastfeeding is unnatural or should be covered up ask yourself these questions:

1)  If you just don't want to see the woman's nipple, then why is ok for the Abercrombie male models to show THEIR nipples? The only difference is the fat part, so the argument that nipple showage is porn or something sexual doesn't work.

2) Do you stop eating when someone with anorexia or bulemia enters the room? No. Of course not.  So why should *I* (or any breastfeeding mother) have to stop feeding our children because YOU have sexualized a mammary gland and now have issues with doing what's natural?

3) Do you want to eat a steak under a towel? Try it one day. Put two people (you have to be one of them) under a blanket. Then YOU eat a steak.

So here's the deal. We're feeding our children with the tools nature gave us. It's natural, a gesture of love, and completely legal anywhere that mother has a right to be.

And just one more thing:

Just be glad society hasn't yet made feet the sexual equivalent of breasts.

2 Minute Reviews - pre and post baby

Hello out there fellow parents (and parents-to-be)!

If you're at all like me, you go out and google reviews, check Amazon.com, and go down your own checklist before committing to a purchase or moving on to the next product.

I like to look at videos as well as read commentaries - the videos help me understand size, how things move (if they are meant to) and basically how to put it together.

I'm going to be doing reviews of baby items, as a new-again mom (my youngest is 10), there are SO many new items out there that weren't even in the thought process stage yet when my son was born!

The difference between mine and many others, namely the videos, is that mine will be 2 minutes, will highlight the pros/cons, strengths/weaknesses and go right to the heart of the matter. There won't be a lot of talk, jokes about my dog, or unnecessary commentaries about my kid.  Thats what the rest of this blog will be for!!!

I have a YouTube Channel that will be used to Vlog and do reviews.  Stay tuned in the coming weeks for the first few reviews!!! 

Chef Boy!

I am one of those people who thoroughly enjoys cooking. If I could have learned to do it professionally I probably would have, but - as it stands, I just cook for friends and family.  That being said, I'm also one of those WOMEN who finds it incredibly impressive when a man who isn't a chef, makes me something to eat that doesn't involve boiling water and a jar of spaghetti sauce (not that there's anything wrong with your spaghetti J-Man...).

Because of this, and because my Little Man - the Boy - has shown some talent and enjoyment in the kitchen, I thought now would be a good time to teach him a basic recipe, quiche!

He put the pie crusts in, and was cutting off the excess!  He really enjoyed playing with the leftover dough....

After he did that, I gave him all the ingredients .In this case, it was spinach  ham, onions and garlic for one quiche, and spinach, ham, onions, mushrooms and garlic for the other quiche.

Then we poured in our egg (one has no cream - due to my inability to have dairy).

 After that we cooked and ate them! I do believe he was really impressed with himself and quite proud of himself too!!

Look out Gordon Ramsey, Chef Boy is beating down your door!!!

I'm a Crafty One...

These days, down to one income, I'm looking at any way I can to save moola and make things better on our growing little family.

Everything from contemplating sewing things for the kids, to making my own diapers, to making diapers to sell, to knitting gloves, hats, diaper covers, etc. to just watching another kid for awhile.

I've also had the treasured and rare time to spend with my kids.  Having been a career focused mom for so many years, just hanging out with my son and daughter has been really nice!  The daughter has one heck of a great sense of humor, and the boy is still as sweet as he ever was, but he's growing up. Both of them are.  I've had a wonderful time this month teaching my son to make quiche and making my daughter her requested birthday dinner (filipino style!).

Even so - as much as it pains me - I do have to find something else to do with my time while they're busy having social lives.

I've been learning to knit (mostly to keep myself from going insane in the last few weeks of pregnancy).  It doesn't require much in the way of physical exertion, but keeps my hands and brain busy.  I've managed to knit a pair of mismatched sized (and shaped) baby booties, a pair of fingerless gloves, and now I"m working on a baby cap. Today I may run to Michaels and get a new pair of knitting needles and some different yarn.  

Another thing I've been researching is wool diaper covers. I did go to Goodwill and buy two wool sweaters and successfully felted them down for use. I debated on deconstructing the one and knitting with the yarn, but I opted to felt it instead. For those of you who don't know what Felting wool is - I have only done it once so I'm no expert - but it's the process of shrinking the crap out of it, basically. To learn more about how to felt wool, click here.   The two sweaters I felted down will become diaper covers for the baby one she's here.   I'll be doing another blog/vlog on that once she's born and I get my new serger!!!

Couponing - Well, I'm not getting all my groceries for .37, but i am saving on average about $7 bucks a trip.  That's nearly $30 a month.  Maybe it doesn't qualify for "Extreme Couponing" but it's pretty exciting to me!

Other than that, just working on slowly adding to my CD stash, thinking about the baby, and waiting.